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Would Somebody Please Send Me to My Room

wouldsomebodypleaseA Hilarious Look at Family Life

Bob Schwartz — Illustrations by B. K. Taylor –

Bob Schwartz reminds us of the necessity, no matter how harried or confusing things are, to appreciate the humor in the day-to-day nature of family life. Bob gives parents a reason to laugh as he navigates the unexpected twists and turns of parenthood every mom and dad has experienced — such as that feeling of panic when you hear the toilet being flushed and immediately followed by your child’s less than reassuring yell of “Uh-oh!” Or the admonition to your five-year-old of, “No, you can’t have the leftover cotton candy for breakfast, even if you do pour milk over it.”

Perhaps parents also need the reassurance that Bob offers. In looking back on his initial years of parenthood, Bob writes, “There was one word that sprang to mind — Naïve. That’s French for ‘Buddy, you don’t even have a clue.’ ” If you, like Bob, are entirely clueless at the beginning of parenthood, there’s hope for the future.

For while imparting crucial information to his children like “the shower curtain goes inside the bathtub; don’t put marbles into the garbage disposal, and it’s not a great idea to see how many peas you can stick up your nose,” Bob did learn things like how to navigate the challenging world of school carpool pickup without infuriating the power hungry fifth grade Safety Patrol. And you, like Bob, might also make some headway with the linguistic parental challenge of cracking the grunt communication code of teenagers.

Bob Schwartz tackles these problems and more. He tells us that the purpose of his essays is to have us embrace the humor of parenthood and the fun of family life. “Let laughter be the fuel for this thrilling, and yes indeed, sometimes pandemonium-producing journey.”

All author proceeds from the sale of this book will be donated, in his name, to the Make-A-Wish Foundation.

“Bob Schwartz has written an insightful and hilarious book, but it has a limited appeal. The only readers who will enjoy it are people who have children, who don’t have children or who were once children. I have three sons, so I really loved it, and it has helped me make the decision to sell my children on eBay.”

David Brenner, Comedian (nightly at Las Vegas Hilton),
Author and Father

“Bob Schwartz has written a glorious account about the day to day lessons of parenting. The book is wonderfully humorous, yet wise. It’s all about what really matters: enjoying the most magnificent role of our lives: parenting! I highly recommend it.”

Dr. Michele Borba, author of Don’t Give Me
That Attitude! No More Misbehavin’ , and
Nobody Likes Me. . . Everybody Hates Me

BOB SCHWARTZ is an author and freelance humor writer whose popular writings have appeared in over 150 magazines and numerous newspapers. He has written for parenting magazines throughout the United States as well as Canada, Australia, and England. He is an entertaining speaker and has performed in cities throughout the country. Bob graduated from the University of Colorado and received a law degree from the University of Oregon.


Cloth, 336 pages, 6X9
Humor, Family, Parenting
ISBN: 0-944435-57-2
LC: 2004114928

List price $22.95
Our price $17.22


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